Anxiety Isn’t Weakness: Why Connection, Control & the Right Therapy Can Change Your Life
- Nicole Child
- 5 days ago
- 7 min read
If you’ve ever laid in bed with your heart racing, replaying conversations from three years ago, or found yourself staring at your inbox like it’s an unexploded bomb, then you know exactly how anxiety feels.
It’s sneaky. It shows up uninvited, makes itself at home and before you know it, you’re questioning your worth, your decisions and whether you’re even capable of doing life properly.
Here’s the thing I really want you to hear...
--> There is nothing weak about experiencing anxiety <--
Your brain is not broken. It is doing exactly what it was designed to do: protect you.
Unfortunately, it’s just running on an outdated operating system that keeps flagging everything as 'danger!' And while that can feel exhausting, isolating and downright frustrating, the good news is you can change it.
In fact, asking for help is one of the most courageous things you’ll ever do. (And yes, I know, even reading that might make you feel more anxious.) Courage isn’t always loud and fearless; sometimes it’s quiet and tired but still willing to show up and say, 'I can’t do this alone.'
That in itself takes a whole load of strength.
You Feel Weak but That’s Just Your Brain Trying Its Best
Ever had that twinge of guilt for feeling vulnerable? That’s your brain’s ancient wiring at play.
The amygdala (your internal alarm system) overreacts even when there’s no real threat. And prolonged anxiety can make the amygdala grow, so it becomes even more reactive to perceived danger.
Meanwhile, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for emotional regulation, may struggle to keep up.
The result? You feel emotionally fragile, irrational, or weak - not because you are, but because the brain’s fear circuitry is hijacking your confidence.
You Are Not Alone: UK Statistics
If you’ve ever thought you were the only one, please know you’re part of a much larger, often silent, but slowly speaking-up community.
Don't believe me? The numbers don’t lie:
In late 2024, 22.5% of UK adults reported high anxiety — higher than any point from 2015 to 2019 (Office for National Statistics, 2025).
Among 16 to 24-year-olds, 25.8% now experience common mental health conditions (up from 18.9% in 2014), with much higher rates among young women (36.1% vs 16.3% of men) (Rethink Mental Illness, 2025).
Nearly three-quarters of UK adults had felt anxious at least sometimes in the prior two weeks, and for many, it interfered with daily life (Mental Health Foundation).
When Anxiety Makes You Withdraw - Connection Is Actually What You Need
In panic mode, the instinct is to retreat. And I get it. Who wants to expose perceived weakness in a society that glorifies the notion of “go go go”?
But here’s the truth that doesn’t get shouted about enough: human connection reduces anxiety. It's not luxury. It’s survival.
Back in primitive times, retreating made sense. If there was danger nearby, a storm was rolling in, or you were injured or unwell, retreating into safety could mean the difference between survival and… well, not.
Even today, taking a moment to step back after a stressful event can be healthy - it gives your brain and body a chance to rest, restore, and recalibrate.
The problem comes when that retreat doesn’t feel temporary. The stress doesn’t pass, your brain keeps looping the same thoughts, and you start piling fresh worries on top of the old ones. Before you know it, the 'pause' button becomes a full-blown disconnection from the world.
And there’s a whole bunch of research that tells us about why that’s dangerous:
In human studies, the presence of a trusted social partner (like a parent or romantic partner) significantly buffers the stress response, reducing cortisol release, especially during challenging situations (Gunnar & Hostinar, 2015)
Isolation can activate the same brain areas as physical danger, triggering a stress response as if something is actively threatening (Holt-Lunstad, 2024)
Feeling excluded doesn’t just hurt emotionally, it actually triggers the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) in the brain, the same region that lights up when you experience physical pain (Eisenberger et al, 2003)
Loneliness is a genuine health risk. It increases the risk of early death by up to 32% and social isolation by 14% (Impact of loneliness).
Deep social bonds don’t just make you feel better, they improve resilience, cognition and even life expectancy (The Times).
So yes, when the brain tells you to hide, it feels safe at first. But that state keeps your system stuck in emergency mode.
Even a small act of connection - sending a text, sharing a cup of tea or reaching out to someone familiar - can begin to switch off those alarm signals and remind your nervous system it's safe enough to breathe again.
High-Functioning Anxiety: Excess Control, Rituals and Guilt
Ah, the overachievers of anxiety. I’ve seen it a thousand times...
Calendars colour-coded, routines executed with military precision, to-do lists that never end. Everything looks perfect on the outside because perfection is easier to manage than the chaos spinning on the inside.
People with high-functioning anxiety often look like they’re bossing life. That’s partly why it’s so hard for them to seek help.
In fact, research shows that individuals who appear outwardly 'successful' are among the least likely to reach out for support, often due to fear of stigma, fear of losing status or simply because others don’t notice they’re struggling (Henderson et al., 2013).
Other groups who find it especially hard include men (due to social norms about emotional expression), healthcare professionals, and people in leadership roles (Mental Health Foundation, 2023).
So why all the control, ritual and perfectionism? This is your brain’s attempt at creating predictability in an unpredictable world.
At the neuroscience level, this often comes down to something called the Behavioural Inhibition System (BIS).
Basically this is your brain’s 'risk radar.' This system involves areas like the amygdala (your fear centre), the hippocampus (which stores memories of past experiences), and the prefrontal cortex (the sensible planner in your head).
When your BIS is cranked up too high, it’s like having a smoke alarm that goes off not just for actual fires, but every time you make toast. It becomes hyper-focused on anything that could go wrong, so instead of chasing new opportunities, your brain puts all its energy into avoiding mistakes.
In real life, this can look like:
Staying in your comfort zone because it feels safer.
Repeating 'safe' behaviours (e.g. rituals, routines, meticulous planning).
Avoiding showing vulnerability because your brain codes it as 'unsafe.'
This might work in the short term. But it also means you’re living life in a constant low-level state of threat detection. And when your brain’s 'safety alarms' keep firing, anxiety doesn’t fade. Instead, it cements itself into your daily life.
From Cultural Silence to Growing Acceptance
It wasn’t that long ago that in the UK, therapy was either whispered about or dismissed. The mindset was often: 'Pull yourself together' or “Keep calm and carry on.”
Thankfully, that tide is turning. Recent research carried out in the BACP/YouGov Public Perceptions Survey 2025 revealed that:
35% of UK adults say they've sought help from a counsellor or psychotherapist at some point in their lives - that includes 25% of 16- to 25-year-olds.
Nearly a third of adults have experienced therapy in just the past year
And that’s just the people willing to say that they have sought help - there are plenty who seek help quietly, never telling anyone.
The point is, more people than ever are choosing therapy - whether to heal a specific issue, as a safe outlet, or as a buffer to protect their mental health.
Therapy Doesn’t Always Look How You Think
Forget the cliché of sitting on a couch while someone with a clipboard nods. Therapy can take so many forms.
There’s your more traditional types like counselling. But there's also laughter therapy. Equine therapy (yes, horses). Art and music therapy. Forest bathing. Adventure therapy.
Even drumming therapy - because rhythmic movement can have profound effects on the nervous system.
And then there’s Solution Focused Hypnotherapy - my personal favourite (I'm biased I know but for good reason!)
When I was going through a particularly dark time, the last thing I wanted to do was sit and talk about my problems. Honestly? I’d already spent far too much time replaying them in my own head. The idea of speaking them out loud to a stranger felt exhausting.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy offered something completely different.
It was forward-focused. It didn’t need me to rehash every detail of my problem. It was about building a future I could look toward with hope - using practical, neuroscience-based anxiety techniques to get me there.
Yes, I have a soft spot for the magical and mysterious in life, but when it came to finding support for my mental health, I wanted something evidence-based. Solution Focused Hypnotherapy delivered exactly that: a structured, uplifting and empowering approach that made me feel in control again.
Why Therapy Helps: Training Your Brain Toward Light
Neuroscience is clear: brains are plastic. They can change.
We can build new neural pathways through positive experiences, connection and intentional strategies is possible.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy taps directly into that, quieting the amygdala’s alarm system, strengthening the prefrontal cortex and guiding your brain to rehearse confidence and calm instead of fear.
The result isn’t just relief from anxiety - it’s a reclaiming of yourself.
If You Take Anything From This Blog, I Hope It’s This
Anxiety is not a weakness. It’s your brain trying, in its own clumsy way, to keep you safe. But you are allowed to ask for help. You are allowed to say, 'I can’t do this alone' - without it meaning you’ve failed.
There is courage in reaching out. There is power in finding the right kind of support for you - whether that’s Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, another therapy style, or simply telling someone you trust.
You don’t have to keep spinning plates in silence or retreating from the world hoping no one notices you’re struggling. Your life is worth more than that.
If this has resonated with you, consider it your sign to take the first step. Because the moment you reach out, you’ve already started to take back control.
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