Understanding the Teenage Brain: What’s with the Attitudes, Emotions and Eye-Rolls?
- Nicole Child
- Jan 28
- 6 min read
Why teenage behaviour, emotions, mood swings and risk-taking are all part of normal brain development
If you’ve ever wondered who swapped your sweet, predictable child for a moody, unpredictable teenager, you’re not alone.
The teenage years are a fascinating - and sometimes frustrating - period of brain development. One minute they're chatty and affectionate, and the next they’re slamming doors, rollings eyes so hard you worry they might get stuck. Simply asking them to put their phone down can earn you a reaction that suggests you’ve committed a crime against humanity.
And just when you offer some well-meaning advice (based on, oh I don’t know, being an actual adult who’s lived a bit of life), it’s met with grunting or complete dismissal. Because obviously… what would you know?!
The good news is that understanding the teenage brain and behaviour can help you respond more calmly, support your teen’s emotional wellbeing, and make the ups and downs of adolescence a little easier for everyone involved.
The Teenage Brain Under Construction
The best way to describe the teenage brain is like a house being completely rewired while people are living in it. All the fittings and wiring are there, the electricity is still running and most of the time everything works just fine… until it doesn’t.
Wires get crossed, sparks fly and suddenly everyone’s a bit on edge.
Teenagers are going through a hugely important developmental stage and their brain is essentially under renovation. This rewiring doesn’t happen all at once - different areas of the brain mature on different timelines.
To understand why this can lead to mood swings, impulsive behaviour and emotional explosions, it helps to know which parts of the brain are developing and which ones are still finding their feet.
The Prefrontal Cortex: The Part-Time Boss
This is the ‘CEO of the brain’ - responsible for planning, reasoning, decision-making and self-control. In teenagers, it’s still developing and won’t fully mature until their mid-20s.
Research also shows that for children and teenagers with ADHD, the prefrontal cortex tends to mature a few years later than average.
(Don’t panic though - importantly, it follows the same healthy developmental pattern. For neurodivergent teens, development isn’t delayed - it’s just different, and often brings incredible strengths as they grow into adulthood).
Think of it like trying to run a company when the boss is only part-time.
No wonder ‘think before you speak’ doesn’t always happen.
When your teen blurts out something hurtful like ‘You’re so unfair!’ Or ‘I hate you!’ in the heat of the moment, it’s often because their 'thinking' brain has been temporarily hijacked by their primitive survival brain - the emotional part that reacts first and thinks later.
And the prefrontal cortex isn’t working alone. Other parts of the teenage brain - particularly the emotional and reward systems - drive behaviour too, which helps explain why feelings can feel so intense and reactions so fast.
The Amygdala: The Emotional Alarm System.
During adolescence, this part of the brain is highly sensitive - think of a smoke alarm that goes off not just for fire, but for burnt toast.
A small comment can feel like a personal attack, a mild disappointment can feel catastrophic and asking them to tidy their room can trigger a full-blown emotional explosion.
This is because their emotional brain is firing faster than their logical brain can catch up.
Dopamine: Why Risk Suddenly Looks Fun
Dopamine is the ‘feel-good reward’ chemical. For teens, it’s like their reward system is turned up to maximum volume. They’re wired to seek thrills, novelty and instant gratification.
This explains why emptying the dishwasher feels like torture, but staying up until 2am scrolling Tik Tok seems like the best idea in the world.
Brain Pruning and Rewiring
During adolescence, the brain prunes away unused connections and strengthens the ones it uses most. It’s a bit like redecorating a bedroom - walls get stripped back before new paint goes on. This is why teens may suddenly change friendship groups, drop old interests and appear to have sudden personality shifts.
Boys vs Girls: Same Storm, Different Weather
All teenagers experience intense brain development but hormones add another layer to the chaos.
Boys
During puberty, testosterone levels surge up to 30 times. Think of it like pouring jet fuel into a car engine - it revs everything up. This can show up as:
Strong competitiveness
Increased risk-taking
Irritability or occasional aggression.
Fearless (‘this will be fine’ attitude)
Girls
Fluctuating oestrogen and progesterone affects mood, emotional regulation and stress response. This can make girls more prone to:
Anxiety
Mood swings
Feeling overwhelmed by social situations
Friendship dramas can feel massive because their brains are especially sensitive to social rejection.
Despite the differences, both boys and girls commonly experience:
Anger - intense emotions with little control.
Anxiety - worrying about identity, friendships, school or the future.
Frustration - feeling stuck between childhood and adulthood
Fearlessness - an appetite for risk-taking, thanks to that dopamine drive and under-developed impulse control.
What Parents Might Notice at Home
Behaviours vary but generally these are normal for this teenage stage:
Big reactions to small things - minor disagreements can turn into a full emotional explosions, seemingly out of nowhere.
Increased sensitivity around friendships - fallouts, being left out or a tone change in a message can feel deeply personal and devastating.
Risk-taking or impulsive choices - pushing boundaries, physical risks or ignoring potential consequences, particularly in boys.
Mood swings that leave you guessing - chatty one minute, withdrawn the next.
Pushing back against you - Advice or rules suddenly feel extremely annoying - even if someone else says the same thing
Seeing all of this in action can feel exhausting. And sometimes, no matter how calm, patient or logical you try to be, your advice just seems to bounce right off.
The good news is, understanding what’s happening in their brains can help you respond in ways that actually make a difference, rather than adding fuel to the fire.
How Can Parents Support Their Teenagers?
Supporting a teen isn’t about controlling their behaviour - it’s about guiding them through the storm, Practical ways you can help include:
Staying calm: Think of yourself as the anchor in a stormy sea. If you lose your cool, it will only make their emotional waves bigger. Take a breath before responding, even if their reaction feels over-the-top.
Set boundaries: Rules aren’t optional - they create safety and structure. Teens will naturally try to push against them, but in the long-term consistent boundaries will help them feel secure.
Offer choices (where possible): Small decisions give them a sense of control. Instead of dictating, give options like: ‘Do you want to do homework before dinner or after?’ It reduces arguments and encourages independence.
Listen without judgement: Sometimes they don’t need a solution, they just need to be heard.
Keep perspective: Remember your teen's brain is under construction. Mood swings, fearlessness and frustration are all part of normal development. What looks chaotic now is paving the way for a stronger, more resilient adult brain.
Seek outside support when needed: Schools, pastoral teams, or wellbeing services can help when your advice doesn’t land. You don't have to navigate this alone.
How Solution Focused Hypnotherapy Can Help Teenagers
Even with calm responses, clear boundaries and plenty of patience, some teenagers still struggle to regulate their emotions, manage anxiety or feel in control.
And let’s be honest, sometimes the advice from Mum or Dad just doesn’t land - that’s completely normal. Teenagers aren’t always ready (or able) to talk about what’s bothering them, and some don’t even recognise there’s an issue at all.
That’s where Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help. We don’t need to dig into the problem - instead, we focus on:
Building positive steps forward
Reducing anxiety
Building confidencce
Strengthening resilience.
Calming the overactive emotional brain and supporting the thinking brain
I meet teenagers and young adults exactly where they are. I won’t pretend to know all the latest slang or TikTok trends, but what I bring is experience, understanding and a structured, supportive approach that helps them feel in control.
Before becoming a Clinical Hypnotherapist, I spent over 10 years in education - as a teacher, Head of Year, and in pastoral care - supporting children and young people through challenges like anxiety, low confidence and social pressures. That experience deeply informs my approach and helps me connect with teens in a way that feels safe and approachable.
Supporting Parents Too
Sometimes a teenager isn’t ready - or doesn’t want - to attend sessions, whether it’s because of timing, diary clashes, or they just aren’t receptive yet. I’m completely against forcing it, because therapy only works when they’re ready and willing.
In those cases, I offer support to parents instead. Your emotional wellbeing matters just as much as theirs. In fact, many mums are juggling perimenopause or menopause while raising a teen under the same roof which adds more to the overwhelm. Working with you directly helps you feel calmer, more grounded, and better equipped to support your child, so the whole household benefits.
If you take anything away from this blog, I hope it's this:
Your teenager’s moods, rudeness, or fearlessness aren’t a reflection of poor parenting or a broken child. It’s neuroscience. Their brain is undergoing a major renovation, and while that can feel bumpy, with the right support - and sometimes a little outside help like Solution Focused Hypnotherapy - they can come through stronger, calmer, and ready for the next chapter of life.
Ready to take the next step? Whether your teen is ready to attend or you want support as a parent, explore how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy can help:
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